A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's shark week go big or go home
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
