I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
