How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
