So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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