I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
