At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
