ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.