There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.