just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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