Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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