You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize