you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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