we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I've blown a few things in my day
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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