I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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