Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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