y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
