I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
