you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
