Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
