then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I came so hard my ears popped.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
