is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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