so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
