i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
