I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
