Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize