Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
