I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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