i permit you to call me
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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