M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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