I faked an abortion last night.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize