You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Boobs speak an international language.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
