please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Randomize
