He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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