so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
