rhymes with "ouble enetration"
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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