How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
