oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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