i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize