I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
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We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
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i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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