I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
