it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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