some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
