i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize