WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
