Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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