you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize