return my video game
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Randomize
