Cold hands, warm shart.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
