Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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