would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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