The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
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How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
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Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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