Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I woke up under a house in Key West
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
