around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize