I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumble strips road head = magical
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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