he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
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