You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
