No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
