it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
