we were pretty classy up until the second keg
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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