You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
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Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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