it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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